It’s a new acronym I heard this week and it captured my imagination. We’ve all heard of FOMO, I’m sure, the fear of missing out. People who try to get everything in, or they feel like they are missing out. They want to go on every outing, every trip, every movie, whatever it is they hear about, they are in. The truth is you are always going to miss out. Always. Whenever you’re choosing one adventure, you are saying no to another or maybe to several. You can make yourself crazy trying to do it all. Plus, are these FOMO types really enjoying all that they are doing or are they worried about their next move and not fully present with what they are currently doing? How are they sleeping? Are they eating well or consuming way too many unhealthy food and drink choices? What about their stress levels? Are they able to wind down and relax?
JOMO is the joy of missing out. Not only not trying to do it all, but purposefully trying to not do it all. This is being very selective of the activities you spend your valuable time on. Is it something you really want to do, versus, going along with what everyone else is doing? It’s fine to join the crowd, but how many times do you feel you need to because you’re afraid of missing out instead of being an activity you find fun and enriching? Maybe it’s partially a maturing thing, but I find I no longer care about going along if I don’t find it really appealing. I value my time more these days. I like to consciously choose where I want to go and what I want to do. I’m definitely okay with missing out on lots of activities. In fact, I usually don’t feel like I’m missing out. I love the idea of the Joy of missing out. Joy is key. If it’s not required and it doesn’t give you joy, why bother? Of course, I’m the type who enjoys quiet time. I don’t need to have lots of people around me all of the time. I enjoy time to myself to read or journal or go for a walk.
Some of the FOMO types as they race from place to place are eager to collect trophies, souvenirs to remind them of where they have gone, but I wonder if they spent as much time at creating a memory worth memorializing with a trinket? Did they really take the time to experience the place? Last year we went on a River Cruise down the Rhine, a trip I will cherish. And yes, we brought home a few souvenirs, but the high points were the quiet times we got to explore the cities on our own. Walking on cobbled streets, exploring ancient churches and feeling the awe of a culture that was here long before our country was even established. We didn’t see and do everything, and we fully embraced and loved what we chose to do. By choosing to bicycle around the windmills in Kinderdijk, we missed out on the shops there. I don’t regret our choice. We chose to hike in the Black Forest instead of learning how cuckoo clocks are made. We loved our hike. It was just too short and we want to go back on our own and explore more.
I’m guessing FOMOs never feel really satisfied. They are always looking for the next big thing, that adrenalin rush perhaps. I’m not saying that’s wrong, but it’s certainly not for me. I will joyfully embrace missing out on many things, particularly those that don’t speak to my heart. I’ll choose the life experiences that fill me up and make my heart happy. If you are a FOMO type, I invite you to give JOMO a try. Purposefully say no to one or two things that come up. Maybe take on some quiet activity like reading or meditation or going for a walk out in nature. Feel the calm, let the peace settle around you. Just give it a try. See if you can experience the joy. You can always return to rushing around later, and you might find JOMO enjoyable and rejuvenating.